Elena — See Me Because

I am interested in poetry and writing. I remember when I was first writing, I'd be like, “God, are you for real?” It's kind of like I was trying to test the universe to see if this was really meant for me. I was thinking of three poems at least, and at school, I took out a loose leaf of paper and wrote down a couple of notes. I was thinking, “Girl, you said you weren't gonna write today”. It kinda haunts me, it chases me. Here's this little poem that I really like, that talks about doing our best and despite our efforts to deny our greatness, the self will urge you to do your best.

I also paint. Painting is like being honest, but kind of hiding, too. I feel like my paintings and writings and art have a lot of hidden messages. I just hope to be more open. I want to get to a point where I can just be fully honest and expressive, and not limit myself to what I feel I can say.

With this portrait I was hoping to create a sense of acceptance of all aspects of self. Sometimes it's really hard to accept all of you, especially when the world tells you not to. The portrait also means to keep growing through it all, despite everything. I feel that my life experiences have really pushed me towards art because it's a refuge. I like the space to be honest and to express the things I sometimes feel I can't. In nature, I have a connection to water - I can feel it - and I also appreciate feeling the floor beneath me. These things ground me. I like to hold and hug other people to feel what is real.

I feel my portrait has morphed many times. At first I thought it would be about myself versus adulthood and good versus bad. That's how it started out. I wanted to try and unite those two. However, I realized, I didn't really know what to do with that. I became interested in something more simple and that’s when I started leaning into the topics of nature. I have this thought in my head that's constantly there - life is nature - the ups and downs, the waves, the seasons, hibernating during the winter or blooming during the spring. I think it's me because growth is always happening, even when you don't feel it. I'm still growing.

Milwaukee, 2023