Angel — See Me Because

I thought of setting the portrait in space and underwater, so I went for blues and purples in color. I wanted to represent a dark place, when you're in a dark place you try to swim towards something better. My portrait concept was about myself escaping the environment I'm living in. Often I see two worlds that are similar but also different, they intertwine in ways we don’t realize. The person reflected in the portrait is a human going through the struggles that any person will go through and figure out how to get out.

People may see me as a quiet person because I haven't given them my entire self. Sometimes I'm unsure if I can be my entire self around new people because I don't know who they are either. You wouldn't get to know or understand anything about me by looking at me. When I tell people something, they'll respond, "Oh, I never knew that" or "Wow, that surprised me”. I can be goofy, and I like to hold onto my childlike persona. I want to feel a level of comfort before I get out of my reserved zone. It doesn't matter how other people perceive me, but still my mind focuses too much on what other people see. I just have to remind myself that it doesn't matter deep down. There are multiple ways of viewing things, and I think ultimately you have to trust in yourself and have confidence in what you see, think, and feel. That's what I want for myself.

I'm proud that regardless of how low I may feel, my energy is empty, or I feel like nothing, I'm still able to pull my creativity from that place and try my best to do something. Those days when I don't feel like even getting up and I just want to sleep for a week, I still get up and try. Even though I go through many things to make the art that I want to make, the highs and lows of emotions and navigating challenging situations, I'm appreciative that my art makes people feel relieved. My art allows people to see different things or at least helps them to wonder. I think my art does something for people. I'm glad it has the opposite effect on people other than from where I created things. I may go through many things, but I don't want people to go through it too.

New York City, 2023